Talking to my boys about RV life was easy, but talking to them about polyamory took some time. When Codi first became part of our lives, none of us were really sure where it would go. I didn't want to share anything prematurely. I was also really worried about how they would handle it. I did a lot of reading and I even spoke to a therapist about it before I told them.
I read something that really stood out to me, it said something like..... "hiding your polyamory from your children will make them assume that its something to be ashamed of. You will be deceptive. If you lie to them, they will lie to you." The therapist encouraged me to be honest when and if they asked. He also told me that its much more common than I realize, its just often kept quiet. He said that there are so many polyamorous families doing incredibly well, especially the kids in those families.
After thinking about it for quite a while, I realized that my biggest fear was not actually my childrens reactions, but how other people might treat my children. I have raised kind, loving human beings..... my fear wasn't truly of their reactions, I know their hearts! I worried that if it came out, other people.... other kids, would bully and tease my kids. That was a very valid and very real fear to me, especially considering that we live in a very small, conservative, southern town. That fear was mine though. I was not giving other people the opportunity to respond because I assumed I knew their response. That is on me! Overall, most people have responded with love and with grace..... even if they don't necessarily support our lifestyle. Not everyone lol, but most people.
Anyway, when I told my oldest son he said "Mom, my generation is really different than yours.... we are really open minded! If you're all good and you're all happy, then I'm good and I'm happy. I love Codi, she is already family." When I told my middle son he asked why I waited so long to tell him. He said he had wondered about it for a while. Then he said "Im totally fine with it, I'm going to call you mom number one and her mom number two." Hahahaha!!
My little one is my sunshine. He is incredibly smart, I joke that he will be filing our taxes this year. He is a very analytical thinker. When I told him, he kind of cut me a side eye and said "Mmmmm hmmmm I knew it. And I'm judging all of you!" Then he gave me our secret wink, him and I have a secret wink. He giggled. We laughed. He snuggled up with the three of us to watch a movie, and life went on as normal.
We are just like most other families, most of the time. We laugh, cry, argue, celebrate, and love each other. My oldest has brought a girlfriend home to meet his rv living, polyamorous family. He is not ashamed of us, if anything.... he is so proud of our family and he loves that we have always been a little eccentric. We value family and we fiercely protect our loved ones. This has been a positive life change for everyone.